Widgets Magazine

When the gym is full

Sometimes, when I’m feeling ambitious, I bike all the way from my humble Wilbur residence to Farrillaga to “work-out,” because I prefer it to Nearillaga. By the time I have exerted all of the effort necessary to bike all the way out there (a work-out in itself for me), I am more than a little dismayed to discover that my favorite gym equipment—okay, the only gym equipment I know how to use—is taken. From this experience I have gleaned a lot of knowledge and compiled a list of options for what to do when your gym equipment is taken.

  1. Go to the gym at another time. The gym has rush hours. I’ve noticed that it’s usually super busy between 4-6 p.m.  
  2. Bike to the other Arrillaga. I would never do this, but it’s an option. Also, by the time you bike over there, you may not even have to work out after all!
  3. Learn how to use other gym equipment. Either Google it or ask someone cute for help.
  4. Ask if you can share with someone and take turns. This also gives you an excuse to take lots of breaks during your workout.
  5. Do a workout that doesn’t require equipment! Some of the best workouts require no equipment at all. Stretching, jumping jacks, planks, etc.
  6. Stare down the people using the equipment you want. Make them uncomfortable so they leave.
  7. Just wait and pretend to use other gym equipment while you’re waiting to seem productive.
  8. My favorite equipment is very popular, so there is usually a group of people waiting to use it. If this is the case for you, I suggest ganging up with the other waiters and forming a prayer circle. Please, may someone finish their workout in the next five minutes.
  9. Cause a disturbance that makes everybody leave the gym. I will leave the nature of the disturbance up to your imagination.
  10. As a last resort, cry, beg and plead until someone pities you enough to give up the equipment.

So, the moral of the story is, don’t give up just because your favorite equipment is unavailable… or do, it’s a good excuse to not work out.


Contact Phoebe Quinton at pquinton ‘at’ stanford.edu.