Widgets Magazine

Anita Richard: Pilot

Anita here, and I’m going deep into what we all think about, what some (and the list is shorter than you think) of us do and what not enough of us talk about. Let’s go all the way down and get our hands (and maybe more) dirty. After all, we are on the Farm.

Maybe you’re wondering who I am. I’m a needy girl — I have a lot of needs, and I know you do, too. I need a friend. I need a 4.0. I need a hook-up. I need a summer internship. I need a plaything. I need a lover. I need a cup of coffee. Anita Richard.

Let’s face it; in this drought the environment is not the only thing thirsting for some action. Luckily for me, it’s a new year. New me, new you, new classmates. Take a look around, upperclassmen. As America’s most vegan-friendly campus (and this doesn’t mean we are afraid to eat meat), we are all about anything fresh. I’m talking about you, Class of 2019. (Side note: Can someone please get me the address of that one freshman who decided to f*ck with Fetty’s prophecy?)

Frosh, all of us have been through this before, but most of you are diving headfirst into virgin territory. You came early for New Student Orientation, but I doubt that the several days of activities such as BROC party and Band Run taught you the necessary techniques needed to penetrate the ins and outs of being an active member of Nerd Nation. Like Timon and Pumbaa sing in “The Lion King”: Hakuna your tatas. Don’t worry; I’m here for you. Wrap your head and hands around these tips that will leave you wanting more.

Dil-DOs

  • DO go all the way when it comes to extracurricular activities. Whether you prefer a team effort in an intramural sport or individual pursuits that allow you to do it by yourself, don’t be afraid to get in and go hard. If you have an activity that you are especially passionate about, reach out to a staff member to be your sponsor — lay out your idea and really hammer it home. Or maybe all the extra time you put into your already-established special interests could one day make you a master debater or a champion wrestler.
  • DO get to know as many people as you can. We are surrounded by the foremost thinkers of this generation. We are at Stanford, and we are big fans of double-teaming — it’s all about collaboration, people. At the end of the day, it’s like we’re taking this four-year ride on a tandem bike (you know, one of those two-seater bikes): me in the front, and you in the rear. Let’s take it slow.

Dil-DON’Ts

  • DON’T feel the pressure to overload yourself with 20 units. Sure, ExploreCourses has a lot to offer, but you will thank me later if you spend time exploring some of the more rewarding aspects of college life. And don’t underestimate the recommended fall quarter workload; 12-15 units will seriously get ahead of you if you don’t stay on top. Make your to-do list, and don’t leave me off.
  • DON’T overlook the breathtaking beauty of this campus. By day, the bustling birds and bees, the magnificently erect Hoover Tower and the stacks in Green create an atmosphere that cannot be replicated elsewhere. By night, the sloppy dance floors in the frats, the still magnificently erect Hoover Tower and the steamy moments after sharing a breakfast burrito at Arrillaga (or Lag if you want to walk that far) late night are all worth leaving the 24/7 lounge. Besides, you have all weekend to get over your short affairs.

The ride is going to be rough whether you intend it to be or not, but I can assure you that the climax of this year will not be the Three Books discussion. If it’s something else involving the number three, count me in.

  • Anonymous

    Astutely written.