Venkataraman: Does DeflateGate seem believable?

May 17, 2015, 10:30 p.m.

I promised myself I wouldn’t write a full DeflateGate article for a multitude of reasons. First and foremost, I’m too close to the situation to be able to offer truly objective commentary. I’m a Patriots fan and a Tom Brady fan and a significant sports homer to boot. On top of that, I have a penchant for speaking (or writing) first and asking questions (or forgiveness) later. Finally, I HATE (in capital letters) writing about something that I don’t know enough about.

But the events of the last week have forced my hand, and thus I’m wading into murky waters to comment about my least favorite topic, DeflateGate. I’ll do my level best to remain level-headed in my commentary, and by means of framing what I say, I’ll ask and answer what I feel to be the pertinent questions in this quagmire of a quandary.

The first question is the simplest: On the night of the AFC Championship game in Foxboro, were the Patriots’ footballs intentionally deflated?

According to the Wells Report, the pressure loss in the Patriots’ footballs cannot be explained due to science, with the vital caveat that the science disregards referee Walt Anderson’s best recollection of that fateful evening.

There are two pressure measurements quoted in the report, corresponding to two different pressure gauges that were on hand for the game. One gauge, called the “logo gauge,” always measured higher pressures than the other gauge. If the higher pressures, corresponding to usage of the logo gauge, are plugged into an ideal gas analysis, then science explains away any deflating effects, whereas using the lower pressures leaves a pressure gap corresponding to intentional deflation.

From Anderson’s own mouth comes the fact that he “most likely” used the logo gauge in pregame measurements, a fact that the Wells Report buries in a footnote. That angers me greatly. I understand that the rest of the evidence, however circumstantial, is damning. But the question is technically not whether the Patriots had a history of planning deflation, but whether the footballs used in the AFC title game were themselves deflated. And according to the science, the answer to that question might in fact be no.

The second question is much less homer-ific — what the heck was going on between Tom Brady, Jim McNally and John Jastresmki? For those folks who haven’t been on ESPN in the last week or so, the Wells Report contains some pretty damning evidence, including some text messages that I won’t reproduce here for brevity but which seem shady as all heck.

Even if the science works out in the favor of the Patriots, these texts, taken as they are, certainly don’t seem above board with NFL regulations. You’ve got guys talking about getting autographed merchandise from Tom Brady in exchange for God knows what, tons of profanity and a guy who calls himself the “deflator.” Oof. The Patriots have tried to spin most of these texts with some context of their own, but in what universe does a guy trying to lose weight call himself the “deflator?” I’m calling BS on that. All this evidence is a lot stronger than using shoddy science.

The next question is obvious: Did Tom Brady and/or the Patriots actually conspire to deflate footballs?

The usage of the word “conspire” here is very deliberate, as I think intent is as relevant as action when it comes to rule-breaking. The Patriots, fairly or not, have a less-than-sterling reputation when it comes to following the rules (however draconian) laid down by the NFL, and I think that if the Patriots intended to deflate the balls, regardless of what actually ended up happening on the day of the AFC Championship Game, the punishment should be severe.

However, I also feel like the burden of proof used by the NFL to justify punishment operates like a Wheel of Fortune, with elements of randomness, bias and confusion thrown in. If you can prove it, punish them. If you can’t, then don’t.

My final question is the following: What the heck are we gaining from all of this?

It would be naive of me to claim the Patriots are innocent, but the NFL’s shoddy investigating and catastrophically leaky ship haven’t left it blameless either. Given the lax nature of NFL rule enforcement, it doesn’t surprise me one bit that this scandal could have occurred — in fact, I’m shocked that the Atlanta Falcons piping artificial crowd noise into their PA system and the Minnesota Vikings illegally heating footballs on the sidelines are the only other scandals hanging over the NFL’s head.

On the flip side, if you are the Patriots and/or Tom Brady, was whatever little advantage you gained truly worth it? You’ve been crucified by the public at large twice now, and as a fan it is starting to grate. With all the drama and the hoopla, it’s easy to lose sight of what this DeflateGate situation really is — a publicity-generating machine and a time sink. I can’t wait for this to go away, whatever the resolution.

Contact Vignesh at viggy ‘at’ stanford.edu to learn more about the majesty of Tom Brady’s wind-swept hair and Belichick’s sleeveless hoodies.

Vignesh Venkataraman (or Viggy, if you prefer) writes weekly columns for the Daily, unless he forgets. He is a computer science and mechanical engineering double major, with an unofficial minor in watching sports. Born in Boston but raised in Cupertino, CA, Vignesh is a diehard New England Patriots fan and has adopted the Golden State Warriors as his favorite basketball team. He was the backup quarterback for his high school football team and called Stanford football games on KZSU in 2014.

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