Widgets Magazine

Roxy Sass takes the field

With campus all hyped up about the Oregon game tonight, most writers are currently focused on strategy and statistics. But Roxy would like to take this opportunity to highlight some of her favorite things about football.

1) Number one, and most importantly: the tailgating. Roxy is very thankful that Stanford got it together this year and is throwing some awesome student tailgates, complete with burgers and beer games. But bear in mind: Just because the kick-off isn’t for another two hours doesn’t mean you can’t sneak away from the dance party to start scoring.

2) Sculpted glutes. Though Roxy’s preferred football position has always been wide receiver, she knows how to appreciate a tight end. But the party’s not only in the backfield…boys, feel free to take off your jockstrap after the game. Roxy will support you.

3) Dancing to “All Right Now.” After a Stanford touchdown, the free hugs and high fives are the perfect chance to get up close and personal with the cute boy standing next to you in the stands. Too bad there isn’t any space under the bleachers…no one says you can’t score your own touchdown while everyone else is trying (and failing) to figure out LSJMB’s halftime show.

4) Shayne Skov. Don’t think we haven’t noticed you hanging out at the Daily office recently…Roxy thought 2012 was her last chance to get Luck-y, but if you want to practice your tackles, she promises she won’t fumble. Go long – Roxy will follow.

5) After-parties at KA. Go get laid. Roxy’s out of football puns.

 

Just kidding, Roxy’s never out of puns. Hit her up at life@stanforddaily.com and give her some pointers on how to handle the ball(s).