Roxy Sass: Scoping out Stanford

Feb. 24, 2012, 12:41 a.m.

To put it bluntly, Stanford is big, a characteristic Roxy usually appreciates (both in academic institutions and in men). When it comes to finding new hookups, there are plenty of options, but, like the female orgasm, they can be elusive (or so Roxy hears…she has little trouble with either). Fortunately for you, Roxy has developed a finely honed list of the best locations to meet your next mate.

 

The Gym

Roxy rarely goes to the gym (she gets her cardio elsewhere), but she’s been known to put in an appearance at Arrillaga once in a while to supplement her ordinary workout regimen. While Stanford students are generally pretty fit, the people who go to the gym are especially so. And if looks are something you care about (and let’s be real, Roxy puts the super in superficial), the gym is a good place to weed out any fatties. Plus, Roxy considers it an excellent preview: if she likes what she sees when a guy is sweaty and full of adrenaline, she knows one great way to get a private showing.

 

The Dinner Table

To be clear, Roxy does not endorse dormcest, though she’s certainly had her fair share of it (Roxy’s a go-getter—if she sees something, or someone, she likes, she doesn’t let things like common sense get in the way). However, she’s found that friends of housemates make much better targets: all the perks of dormcest without any of the consequences. They’re often around, providing, well, easy access (Roxy would rather have her men hard than hard to get). When the boning gets boring, though, they can make themselves scarce.

 

Classes

This category depends on your academic background, of course: pickings can be slim in certain techie departments. But when you do meet a cutie at office hours or exchange glances across a crowded lecture hall, Roxy suggests you make your move. You’ve got at least one thing in common and, more importantly, an easy in: the transition from p-set buddies to…other…buddies is surprisingly easy, and if you’re already spending late nights studying for chem or bio, you might as well study some anatomy as well.

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