Widgets Magazine

Roxy Sass samples the academic departments

It took Roxy a long time to settle on a major while at Stanford – not because she didn’t always know she wanted to be an English major (have you read “Lady Chatterley’s Lover?”), but because she couldn’t get enough of academic exploration in all departments. The adventurous Roxy knows that a little variety keeps one on their toes, and there’s no better way to sample the Stanford smorgasbord than by taking a few classes for a more personal examination of departmental specimens.

Computer science

Roxy’s never been one to turn away an invitation to a lair. While the programming types may face a reputation for less-than-ample game, Roxy’s here to educate the masses. Those all-night hack-a-thons are a workout for mind and body, and for those interested in an MRS degree, a Stanford CS degree is an investment in the future. Your conversations can be a nice mix of nerdy talk and dirty talk. Plus, Roxy’s always interested in learning more about your Python…code.

Religious studies

While perhaps shy at first, a few rounds of confession later, these scholars are teaching Roxy all the ways to sin in every religion – a very comprehensive review. As a classy lady, Roxy will skip the mandatory “missionary position” pun here, but has secretly always wanted to learn about shrines and temples – you know, since there are so many already built to her.

Feminist studies

A whole major based on Roxy’s gender? Sweet. Roxy’s intrigued by the thought of a feminist studies major who can appreciate a woman in charge. And after years of study, these students offer Roxy a chance to roughhouse with someone who knows her better than she knows herself.

Human biology

In no other department can you spend weeks and weeks talking about the raw impulses that drive human sexual behavior – Roxy’s favorite pastime, masquerading as academia. And evo-psych creates a lot of convenient excuses for a bit of sexual exploration (hey, our ancestors did it too!). Plus, these students may one day become Roxy’s own McDreamy, and really, who doesn’t love sexy doctors?

Post-doctoral fellows

Roxy hears you’ve got Ph.D.s. Can you confirm?

contact roxy: intermission “at” stanforddaily.com